Hi everyone, it’s been awhile! I can’t believe this is my first post of 2018, I’ve really been slacking on this lately but I’ll be getting back into the regular swing of things from here on in. Well, it’s on my to-do-list anyway, I promise. So why the long absence?
I think this is a good enough reason don’t you? I haven’t switched company, I’ve just moved over to a different department and it’s been a pretty exciting experience for me so far. I’ve basically moved from politics and current affairs to entertainment television, which is pretty much the polar opposite to what I’m used to. It was a drastic change but I felt like I needed a new venture and I haven’t looked back since!
Politics was always something that I’ve been interested in so to completely jump ship from that was a bit scary I suppose. And hence this is why I’m writing this blog so late into the year; I’ve just been INSANELY busy. It’s a different type of busy… but I’m loving it. The work is refreshing and new and I’m getting to meet some really great people (and animals!) I think when you genuinely love what you do, it doesn’t seem like a job and that is how I feel about my work now, even after the two month mark. A good sign!
Same Me… But Improved
I’m one of the lucky ones really when I think about it because I’ve always known what I wanted to do in life. In the real world (outside of this blog) I’m a journalist and I think I’d like to share that part of my life with you all. I could talk about what it’s like as a career choice, what you have to do to get ahead in the field and how to handle it all, in very general terms. It’s something I’m really passionate about and if I could help anyone out with a bit of advice, I’d be up for doing that. So send me a message if you’d like to see that. I’m not saying I’m an expert or anything but I do know how hard it is to get a solid job in this field, heck, it took me a few years.
I just think it’s interesting to think about the people behind the newspaper headlines, behind the radio shows and behind the television glitz and glam, because I am one of those people. But I’ve learned recently that we’re all human, we all have our own problems and we all have a life outside of our work. For me, my biggest issue to date was having to come to terms with the fact that my social anxiety was holding me back majorly. Honestly, it’s an issue that I’ve had to deal with for a very long time but for the most part I’ve kept that side of me quiet, up until recently.
We all have things going on, some people are just more vocal about it than others. But social anxiety, or generalised anxiety, is a tricky one. Some days I would be fine, I could go out, meet people and socialise, and the next I would be a recluse. Last year it hit breaking point for me. I was going into work and coming home and that was literally my life for about three months. I stopped talking to people, I got taxis all the time to and from work because I couldn’t walk down to the bus stop. I would come in home and order a takeaway and head up to my room. So naturally enough I got depressed, put on a tonne of weight and just hid myself away from the world. But this isn’t a negative post because I want to let you know this one simple fact: there is hope. I was so worried about what everyone was thinking of me that I forgot to think about myself. Admitting this to my family was hard, going through therapy and accepting the fact that I also needed medication to get out of my slump was even harder. But thankfully I have the best parents in the world. I have the most loving and supportive friends in the world. I can’t thank them enough for sticking by me even though at times I was fairly hard to deal with. But you can’t look after others until you can look after yourself.
Even now, in the back of my mind there is a niggling voice in my head telling me to stop writing this. It’s because of the people that say “Oh you can’t come out with that, what if people in work find out?” or even worse, “Oh so you took the easy way out?” Bitch PLEASE. You are not worth my time if you think like that, simple as that. GOODBYE.
So without waffling on further, I just wanted to say this: you might not realise what someone is actually going through until you stop to ask them. Some things are harder to talk about than others. But no one is at fault here. Sometimes, these things just happen. Depression and Anxiety is becoming more widespread now because of the world that we currently live in. We are a selfie-obsessed and materialistic nation. So it gets hard sometimes when you have so many other people in the world that you can compare yourself to. But at the end of the day, they’re all doing the same thing as you. My Instagram is full of selfies, food, clothes and makeup, friends, family, dogs etc. That’s just what I choose to show the world, it doesn’t necessarily mean that is all I have going on. That isn’t what that girl you’re comparing yourself to is all about either.
Life is hard for everyone. But it’s also quite beautiful and its the greatest miracle that could ever happen to us. If Ireland can have full on snow on the first day of Spring in March, anything is possible!
Speaking of, I took those snow pics yesterday, did anyone else get to experience the big freeze? I’ve heard in the UK it was pretty bad but for the most part, it’s been okay here in Dublin. But I don’t want to say that out loud just in case I jinx it!
To sign off, I just wanted to say thank you for reading and supporting my blog. We have a long way to go yet but I truly value each and every one of my followers (you know who you are!) Get in touch through my contact form if you want to suggest something; I always love hearing from you guys. Who knows what the next blog will be about… but maybe you can decide!